Old Shadows, New Altars, and Love in the Spring

It’s Saturday morning. Mercury is direct. I have a steaming cup of matcha at my side, and I’m feeling pretty damn happy.

Yesterday was my daughter’s fifth birthday, and I made the right choice: I took the entire day off and took her to the zoo with my husband. We picnicked and frolicked and laughed, simply delighting in one another’s company. I checked my email once and made a post on Instagram, but other than that, the entire day was devoted to being with the people I love most.

Even a year ago, I don’t think I’d have been so engaged. I likely would have left my people to go get some work done, to scroll through social media, to stay connected. I had such FOMO (and other deep-seated shadows, I’m sure), that I thought if I took one day off or two days off from my business, everyone would forget who I was and everything I’d worked so hard for would fade to dust. 

I feel that there’s immense pressure to feel this way these days–what with algorithms constantly shifting and all of us with our side-hustles and the ubiquitous presence of our phones making it possible for us to work from any place at any hour.

But this constant compulsion to stay digitally connected keeps us from being fully present in real time. From falling in love with the spring, our people, ourselves. Sadly, it’s rare that the three of us–my husband, daughter, and I–go on an outing together. I have her while he works and he takes her out while I work and on and on. Sometimes, it’s better to step off the productivity train and just have some fun. We never know what waits for us, and we often forget how fragile and tenuous our foundations can be.

Three years ago, my husband suffered a breakdown and was hospitalized for a week. Even though it was well apparent that he was suffering, I didn’t think that this would happen–I’d been in some pretty dismal places in my life, and somehow been able to avoid it. That week and the month–the year–that followed, showed me how changeable our worlds are, how everything can shift at a moment’s notice, and how the challenging and the painful are inevitable experiences for us as human beings. It’s so important for us to take nothing for granted, to forgive compassionately and freely, to lead with love rather than fear, and to know where our true priorities lie.

I experienced a shadow trigger earlier this week that thrust me back to the time of my husband’s illness, and I was forced to work on some of my core shadows. I detail my experience in this video as well as provide ideas and tips for reworking past/core shadows–if you’re slogging through a bit of shadow yourself, you may find it helpful!

I also took some time to clean out and overhaul my altar space with the goal of making it as utilitarian as it is aesthetically appealing. Honestly, I actually like how it looks better than I did when I was focusing on aesthetics alone! If you’d like some ideas for small sacred spaces or if you’d just like to hear me chat about magickal objects and why they have a space on my altar, feel free to check it out!

And remember: life is short and ever-changing. I’m going to give you a recommendation that I give to each and every one of my Saturday clients after our sessions: do something fun today. Take some time for yourself. Ground, and enjoy.

So Much Love,

Want to work with me? Start here.

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