I recently purchased two things that made me feel rainbow electric–a pair of yellow sunglasses and loose cotton pants with an elephant print.
As you can probably tell, I am feeling myself in this photo. Somehow, a twelve dollar pair of yellow sunglasses unlocked the door to my inner fire and helped me to fully embody myself. On the surface, they’re a piece of plastic. To me, they’re a magickal object–they simultaneously symbolize and inspire a certain energy or psycho-spiritual shift.
There’s a lot of rhetoric out there that tells us that we shouldn’t place too much value on material objects, and in a certain sense, I completely agree–when the quest to acquire more is centrally situated in our psyche, we can fall into a purchasing “black hole” where we spend our hard-earned cash on accumulating stuff that serves no real purpose in our lives. When we spend our hard-earned money with discernment and purchase things that improve our sense of self and our wellbeing, however, we perform a magickal act. We begin to see money as a vehicle for our happiness rather than a “necessary evil.”
I recently dedicated a substantial portion of my ritual time to working through the money blocks that held me hostage for years. I was definitely raised with poverty mindset, and as the oldest of my siblings was always acutely aware of how much money was and was not available for certain things. Each time I asked my parents for something, I was overcome with guilt because I knew that money was problematic for them. I’m glad I was able to develop the keen awareness that money isn’t something to be squandered and wasted, but I wasn’t able to internalize the importance of investments and of taking risks when the timing and the opportunity was right.
Because an up-front investment tickled my shadow in huge ways, I’d spend money in smaller denominations on things that fell short of what I actually wanted. Rather than buy a $50 item that spoke to my soul, I’d buy five $10 items that I was lukewarm about. And there were times where happiness was merely a twelve dollar pair of sunglasses away and I denied myself that happiness because “I didn’t need another pair of sunglasses.” Knowing what I know now, it makes no sense, but I couldn’t see what I was doing because I was so bogged down by money shadows. Once I faced them, a lightbulb went off and I’ve been spending money differently ever since.
And you know what? I feel freaking fantastic about it. I feel abundant and magickal, and that’s always how I’ve wanted to feel.
Shortly after launching my Patreon, I supported two beautiful witchy folks on the same platform. I’ve made a commitment to buying all of my ritual tools and supplies from witches or other woo small-business owners (and I’ve stayed true to that commitment). I’ve backed two independently published tarot decks a) because they’re beautiful and b) because I admire the women who created them and I want to support their work.
I used to tell myself that I didn’t have enough money to make these investments, but the truth is that I was spending money on impulse purchases and items that didn’t really add to my happiness. All it took was an afternoon of number crunching and rearranging to find the funds I needed to support who I wanted to support and to invest where I wanted to invest. Sure, I gave up a habit or two (goodbye seltzer water, goodbye second take-out night), but it was totally worth it. I proved to myself that I could make choices with my highest good in mind. And all it took was some thirty-odd years of struggle and a solid month or two of money shadow work to make it happen.
Paradigms shifts may happen overnight, but the real work of change takes time. It takes awareness. It takes a willingness to get super-real about what your hang-ups are and to resist the circuitous, unhelpful paths they take you down. But it can be done. I’m living proof of that.
Much Love and Money Magick,
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